Meat Is Weak, Tentation Is Big.

So I came back, I couldn't stand the fact of hurting my one and only daughter, Renesmee. I stayed with her, she didn't wanted to see me. She was afraid I would disappear like a dream; just how I was when Edward left. The fact of her not wanting to see me hurt way much, than when James broke my leg. WAY MORE. And being honest, I also missed Edward, I couldn't stand being away from him. Renesmee made me promise I would talk to Edward, I didn't wanted to hurt her so I promised I would. When Renesmee went out that morning, I went to talk to Edward. I told him I was sorry for running away, for almost hurting my daughter, him, Jake! I wasn't sure of the result at the moment, cause Edward simply left. I felt my whole world going down. Had Edward really just flipped me like that? What was I going to tell Renesmee? Shoots! It was definitely not my day, not my week, I even think not my MONTH! Rose was the best sister anyone can ask for when you are down. She would sit and listen, walk with you and she did her best to try to bring me back to the Bella I was. My whole family was there... But Edward.


Days later he came back. He didn't actually knew I had apologized, I guess my apology sucked that much. But he also said he wasn't mad, he was just upset that I would have run away without talking to him first, before thinking. We talked and laughed and everything seemed fine. My life became as colorful as a rainbow can be. It was all back to normal.

As It Comes It Goes --- Letter to my family.

As I am at the moment, laying in the humid, green grass of the meadow. I realized that everything comes as it goes; comes fast? Goes fast. Today, I could swear I was happiest person in the entire world. Edward had given me the ring -he had proposed days ago, but having the ring, was like making it official- yeah, I know we have a daughter, but we are re-marrying. Going back to the ring, I knew he had spent lots of money; you knew it was pricey by just seen it. I knew I didn't deserve Edward, he deserved someone better than I. But he always said he loved me -words too powerful to fool around with- and he wanted to spoil me. My "little" mountain lion -Edward- and Alice picked a date for our wedding: April 25th. 18 days from now, yeah I know, crazy. My love said we had Alice; that meant we would make it in 18 days. I have already picked my Maid of Honor, Nessie, and my Bridemaids, Rose, Esme, Alice, and Leah. Edward said he had asked Jaz and Emm to be his ushers/bestmen or how you want to call it. He said he wanted to ask Jake, but he wasn't sure if Jake was still mad at him. There goes Mrs.BigMouth and asks why he could possibly be mad. Well, I found out that Jacob had gone drunk and said meany things to Nessie; days ago, but still nothing changed the fact that he had done it. He had done it and that was all that mattered. I don't want him to get near Nessie, I don't care about any imprinting rule. Jake hurt my daughter and I wasn't going to allow him to hurt her again. I thought Ed would be on my side, but instead, he positioned in Jake's side. By then Renesmee had jumped over Jacob to play with him, I told her to get down, but no one cared. Anger rushed through my body. What could I do? If I stayed there, I would possibly go over Jacob and perhaps I would hurt my very own daughter. I couldn't risk her, so I ran away, to the meadow. Edward had ran behind me, but I begged Rosalie to stop him. I just wanted to be alone and think; think if what I was doing was right. And now that I've had the time to think it, I know I am right. My body hurts by being away from Edward, my heart breaks in little tiny pieces to see Nessie crying cause of my departure. But I am not giving up today. I am just like Charlie stubborn, I know. But tonight neither of us are going to give up. I love Edward and Nessie, aswell as the rest of the family. But I need space and time, to re-think everything before I head back home. For the mean time I just want to tell you I love you.